About

Kijame©

PRODUCT RESTRICTIONS

The Kijame© is limited to FRIENDS ONLY — all other access is denied. Emotional and sexual needs are NOT supported by this model.

USER MANUAL

Is compatible with most consoles, PSII, Wii, etc — Once installed it will remain stationary and may only be physically removed.

Can act as partner in crime whilst on pub-crawl, although caution must be exercised — Excessive intake of alcohol may result in loss of motor functions, technical difficulties and a giggling heap on the ground⁄floor.

Can be used in philosophical discussions in apropriate environment — Need to be topped up with either tea or hot chocolate.

May be used as human shield during scary parts in horror films — The Kijame© is unafraid and will protect you.

The Kijame© is safe around children, animals and plants.

If you want to keep your Kijame© happy, please give her Anime and Manga on a daily basis (Yaoi is very recommended).
If not she will become sad very soon and (in the worst case) may activate emo-mode, which will be hard to reverse.

MODES

The Kijame© comes with these modes
SLEEP (standby)
CHILL OUT
SOCIAL
SESSION
The modes will occur at random and are non negotionable.
EMO – you better not let it go this far… It could be the last thing you’ll have noticed. This mode is hardly reversable, so you better handle Kijame© as recommended.

WARNING!

Avoid damaging the Kijame© at all times, this will result in heavy fines — either, emotional or physical, complete with denied access.

The Kijame© does not obey orders as it comes fully downloaded with free will — It will think, say and behave as it pleases independently of outer influences.

Excessive exposure is cautioned as product is addictive.

Avoid cold and rain — product not waterproof.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Comes complete with Bewbs of Mass Distraction and a smile.

Testresults etc.